Steven Rubio (masoo) wrote,
Steven Rubio

  • Mood:

can't get this out of my mind

And for some reason, I feel like it would be disrespectful to talk about it on my main blog, so here I am.

I saw the victim's sister on TV last night, crying and talking about how he loved his three kids and how he coached a lot of sports teams and how much he meant to the kids who played under him. It really got to me ... this woman, when she was little she was quite a handful, she knew how to give me the business, and when you don't see someone very often, you forget that they've grown up, and there she is on TV, a grown woman grieving over her dead brother.

Then a friend came from down the street ... they'd had a party going on down there yesterday, I hadn't thought much about it, but my friend said it was the victim who'd gotten it started, came by in the morning with some meat, said let's fire up the BBQ and play some dominos, and the party was on, right there in the front yard. Later he had to go pick someone up ... he called while he was gone, said he'd be back in five minutes ... he never made it back.

I was talking to my son a bit ago, and he said he felt bad for me and Robin, because this kind of thing is outside our sense of the world, and he's right, but I worry about him, too, because he feels like shit about this but he's also kinda fatalistic about it, and it's sad to me that murder can become something, not exactly expected, but unsurprising.

I really don't have anything to say, but I wanted to say it anyway.

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